


Mono no aware

by Aseol



Series: Drifting Away [1]
Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Minhyun POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-05
Packaged: 2018-12-23 23:27:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12000162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aseol/pseuds/Aseol
Summary: Do you know the speed at which cherry blossoms fall?





	Mono no aware

“Sorry for making you wait!”

The sun shined brightly on your windblown hair as you ran towards me. I stretched out my hand, and as you came within reach, ruffled your tangled hair.  

“Don’t worry, I’m used to it,” I tried to put on a friendly smile, but judging from the way you rolled your eyes and pushed my hand away, you did not miss the sarcasm that seeped into my words.

Then you turned around pouting and mumbled something I could not discern. Such a child.

We spent the next few minutes in silence, walking with no sense of urgency. You watched your feet slowly take steps forward, eyes fixated on your dusty sneakers. I looked at my new glossy shoes, and it made me feel inexplicably sick.

Several other students were walking behind us, and the air became vibrant with their presence.

“Even if I came late, we still have a lot of time,” you suddenly said, staring into the distance. “Let’s take the long way.”

I didn’t ask you why.

A few moments later, we turned left and began walking down a desolate street. The silence was becoming excruciating. The sound of only two pairs of feet shuffling across the pavement felt like sandpaper on my ears.  Perhaps I should’ve said something to ease the atmosphere; after all, it was me who made us feel uncomfortable in the first place. But I couldn’t. Maybe I actually was a coward.

“You have so many petals in your hair, it looks funny,” you told me, and started giggling.  

Even if what you said wasn’t remotely funny, the sound of your laughter put a smile on my face.

I raised my eyes and uttered a sigh. Concentrated on the silence that fell between us, I didn’t even notice we were passing by cherry blossom trees. The blossoms were falling at the slightest breeze, creating vibrant clouds of pale pink. You looked somewhere above my head and slowly lowered your gaze, perhaps following a lone petal that also landed on my hair.       

“Looks like you’ve been showered in confetti,” you added with a wide grin.

Does it really look like confetti? And if it does, why does such a trivial thing matter? Why does it make you smile like that? You also had cherry blossoms in your hair, but I had nothing to say to you.

In times like these, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Rather than being disappointed in you or myself, I was disappointed in how our lives turned out. Even if we were young and seemingly had our whole lives ahead of us, it already felt like we were swimming against the tide. As if the whole world was whirling around me, I kept getting lost in my own thoughts, everything else melting into a blur. All this time you were holding my hand, keeping me afloat, preventing me from being drown by my own demons. However, holding the hand of a drowning person is dangerous; they might drag you down with them.   

You were completely oblivious to all my inner distress, gazing upon me with your star-filled eyes.

Every time I see you smile, I wonder if you know how it makes me feel.

You carefully stretched one hand towards a solitary branch until only your fingertips were touching the delicate blossoms.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It is,” I replied.

However, I didn’t think so.

On a peaceful spring day, I loved and hated you at the same time. Despite the apparent beauty of the cherry blossoms dancing in the wind and landing on your hair, the only thing I could see was my own reflection in the depth of your eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This might seem weird at first, but there's actually going to be a plot (created by multiple one-shots). All in all, it won't be a story about a healthy relationship. The separate works in this series won't be in chronological order.


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